What I'm Thinking About This Week? A lot

By luck or fate or some other reason, you’ve found yourself reading an email from Thinking Is Cool, *the* podcast to listen to if you want to have better conversations. If this email was forwarded to you, sign up for regular correspondence from me, Kinsey, right here:

Good morning, everyone! Later today, I’m escaping Manhattan for a weekend getaway in New York’s Hudson Valley. This is the first real road trip I’ve taken in a while, and I actually don’t know how to drive anymore so I’m on the aux. So? I’m putting out a call to arms: Please send me playlist ideas for the roughly two-hour drive. No podcasts. Autumnal themes given priority.

What I, a Leaf Peeper, Am Thinking About

I’m a couple weeks away from the end of Season 2 of Thinking Is Cool (how? I do not know I’ve been blacked out this whole time) so my mind is racing. With that, welcome back to another speed round of “miniature essays Kinsey might someday expand for her memoirs but for now are half-baked ideas of things worth deeper thought.”

On forgiving & forgetting.

A year ago this week, I got a phone call on a lowkey Tuesday night that changed my life—changed my life ultimately for the better, but at the time in a way that broke my heart. I’m not particularly ready to go into the details of the chaotic days and weeks that followed that phone call, but trust me when I say that the Wall Street Journal doesn’t always fact check for vibes.

For the last 12 months, I’ve held onto a lot of resentment in my soul. I’ve been angry, and I’ve been bitter, and I’ve launched into spirited “that’s what I should have said” diatribes in the shower almost every night for a year. I have let negativity and heaviness consume me more than I care to admit.

Now, I’m a Scorpio and I’m also a really dramatic person by nature, so I’m not saying that I’ll ever completely let go of the grudges I’ve held. But I’ve learned that my resentment doesn’t punish anyone but me. Anger is a motivator for some people, myself very much included, but it’s far less powerful than ambition and inspiration.

I think I’m pretty forgiving, but I’ve never been much for forgetting. I don’t want to forget what the last year has taught me about loyalty, communication, respect, and how and why they break down. But I am ready to reclassify those memories—they’re not the list of things that keep me up at night anymore, that make me so mad I could cry; they’re lessons. And powerful ones at that.

On men entering the bodily autonomy conversation in a good way.

Earlier this week, my Twitter had a whole lot of Kumail Nanjiani on it thanks to a really interesting profile of the actor from Vulture. I’ve always had a soft spot for pieces like this that pull back the curtain on people we’ve unfairly classified as things instead of, well...people. But this one especially got me thinking.

The main thrust of the piece revolves around Nanjiani’s much-publicized effort to abscond the ranks of “one of us” and, as the writer E. Alex Jung put it, “remake his body in the mold of the Hollywood Chrises.”

It’s clear within the first few paragraphs of the piece that Nanjiani is a man struggling to come to terms with a new physical self while under an ungodly amount of pressure from all of us. But he’s so self aware, so acutely sensitive, so deeply human in all of it—I found myself moved.

I’m glad to finally see a more public example of allowing men the space to explore the ways they feel about their bodies, physically and emotionally, the way women have been permitted to (perhaps expected to?) for the last several years. Nanjiani, in the span of the piece, opens the door to ideas about marriage, sexuality, religion, upbringing, family, bullying, and self-doubt—many of which are tied in some way to his physical (and new) self.

I know there’s a difference between men and women talking about bodily autonomy—and that difference stems from centuries of degradation and objectification that one gender bestowed upon the other. But we all have bodies, and we all sometimes feel alien in them. I applaud Nanjiani for openly talking about the ways his physical changes have affected him emotionally. Perhaps if more men were willing to tap into that mind-body-world connection (fraught as it might sometimes be), we’d be less hasty with our objectification of, well, everyone.

Time for a quick break then one more tiny thought-starter.

I have never once gotten to the holiday season without thinking to myself, “I really should have started on this gift list when I had time back in October.” Allow me to be the voice of reason this year: It’s time to start thinking about your gift list. It’s either that or everyone gets a candle (again).

Mom, Dad, Sis, dating app boyfriend—stop reading here. Okay, now that it’s just us...

Here’s a gift idea: For the most uneasy sleeper in your close circle, a Pluto Pillow. These pillows are the only custom-built option on the market, and they’re designed based on your body, your sleeping habits, and your preferences. And everyone loves a personalized gift.

How does Pluto do it? You fill out a questionnaire that informs Pluto on all the most important things about falling and staying asleep. Then, Pluto crafts a perfectly supple and breathable pillow (that ships for free with a 100-night risk-free trial).

Set up a sleepless loved one with Pluto this season, and let me help you save money in doing so: Use the link www.plutopillow.com/thinking to automatically grab an additional $10 off your first purchase of a Pluto Pillow.

And one more thing: If you purchase a pillow this season (only two episodes left!), you’ll be entered to win this nighttime kit (a $150 value all yours) handcrafted by my team.

I mean just look at this pillow?!

Winners will be announced soon—watch this space.

One more thought because I can’t help myself.

On fitting in.

As you might know, I’m very tall. I’m reluctant to admit it, but I’ve allowed “being tall” to become a big part of my personality. I’m not sure what I’d be if not 6 feet of limbs and trip hazards.

The other morning during one of the barre classes I attend with the almost religious fervor of a suburban mom, I realized that the room wasn’t made for me. I’m too long to fit on the mat during pigeon pose; my fingertips hit the light fixtures when I raise my arms above my head for opening breathwork.

A younger me would have been mortified. I spent the first 20 years of this very tall existence trying to minimize what was clearly an inevitable reality—I’m not a tiny, fragile person and I won’t ever look like Natalie Portman.

Today, I’m okay with that. But my barre-induced gut check got me thinking about the ways we shrink ourselves down to fit in a prescribed ideal of “normal.” Sometimes, that’s physical. Other times, it’s more spiritual, condensing the whole of who we are and who we can be in an effort to better comply with others’ expectations.

We neatly tuck away parts of us that don’t fit with the rest of the world all the time. Our laughter, our emotion, our curiosity, our honesty, and sometimes our physical selves.

I hope you stop doing that today. I’m working on stopping myself.

Thank you so much for reading. I hope these Friday pieces bring you something—it might not always be joy, but I hope it is sometimes. They prod me so significantly to think more and to reflect and to hold myself accountable.

Double thank you if you joined our virtual Meet Your Neighbors panel with Adina from Knock Knock Give a Sock last night. I learned so much—I want to make more of an effort to take any and all chances to step out of my tiny, cramped idea of reality. This was a good start.

One last thing: Behold! Another exciting event!

It’s called Growth Summit and it’s the most advanced online event for growth professionals. Which is, like, everyone. During Growth Summit in a couple weeks, I’ll be chatting about all things brand, media, and community with Sam Parr (The Hustle) and Brianne Kimmel (Worklife VC).

Here's what you can expect:

• Literally the best marketers in the world will tell you how they're currently growing their companies. Companies like Figma, Morning Brew (hey we know them!), Shopify, Vimeo, The Hustle, and dozens more.

• No fluff, no sponsored sessions. Just 10+ hours of pure growth insights from top growth professionals and startup founders.

Check out the full speaker list and claim your free tickets.

That’s all for now! See you Monday for a new episode. Have a fantastic weekend.

-Kinsey

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